Happy Birthday Merdeka Baby

Dear son,

Happy Birthday to you. You are 1 today. It seems like yesterday when you came home with us from the hospital. You were born at 1:31 pm on a Thursday. You weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and measured 19 ¼” long. The doctor laid you on mama's chest as soon as you entered this world. You were still slimy as they had not cleaned you off before the doctor handed you to me. For the first time, mama felt this tremendous love at first sight for you. Tears immediately flooded my eyes. Your papa was in awe of your arrival and was a good coach throughout the 7 hours labor process.

You had very fair skin and looked pinkish when you were born. The first thing I noticed about you is your beautiful double eye-lid eyes. You cracked open your eyes and was so curious about your surrounding. The second thing I noticed about you is your high forehead which resembles your papa. You spent 3 days in the hospital nursery and came home on Saturday.

On the first night you came home, we were trying to get to know you and fulfill your needs that we only got 2 hours of sleep. Things improved and we got 4 hours of sleep on the second night. You were a relatively easy baby during the 1st month although you had to be fed often (sometimes every hour). Your gas problem started during the 2nd month and became better some time around the 3rd or 4th month. Your eczema set in sometime around the 3rd and 4th month. At 9 month, you were diagnosed allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts.

You were able to sit unsupported at 7 months, crawled at 8 months and cruised at 9 months. You started eating semi-solid foods at 6 months. Your first teeth - lower central incisors - came in around 8 months. You waved bye-bye at 10 months. You took your first step unsupported a few weeks before your first birthday.

You were a “hand” baby because you constantly have to be held. You were very sensitive to music and love to be sung to. Your favorite song when you were younger is Edelweiss. You would give us a big smile or stop crying every time we sang this song to you. You don’t like classical music and love heavy rock music. At 8 months you danced to beats and music by shaking your head from side to side and up and down. At 11 months you sang with me when I asked you to (though your singing comprises of only about 2 notes :)

Last week, we saw improvement in your eczema. Thanks to our families and friends for praying for Ian’s eczema. We hope you will outgrow your eczema soon.

Today is your first ever birthday, and we are extremely proud of you. It hasn't been an easy one year, but somehow you managed to pull through under the care of inexperienced first time parents, and weathered through hives, eczema, cold, virus infection, allergic reaction etc. Though you are the cause of our heavy eye bags, sleepless nights, movieless/dateless one year, reduced bank account (thanks, Elecare and Triceram!), your mischievous smile and adoring hugs and kisses made it all worth the while.

We may feel tired and frustrated at times, however never once did we regret having you in our lives and we thank God for every day that you are healthy and happy baby. All in all, you have given us a wonderful year, and lots of training on our patience and functioning without adequate night time sleep. Our love for you grows fonder every day.

Thank God for bringing you into this world and you are such a blessing to us and bring us so much joy. We hope that God will always be with you.

We love you son, and happy first birthday...oh yeah and happy Merdeka day!

Love,
Papa & Mama

p/s: Ian's birtday party pictures (thanks to Uncle Kok Meng and his trusty Canon 28-70L f2.8)

M&M baby

Wide Eye Pretty Boy
Surrounded by aunties
What's with that big L Lens?
Present Opening Time!
Eee? What's this?

Yeah! I am the master of ball-ball toy!
Delicious bday cake... Hmm...more present! Cute or not?
Eh? What's that?
...ok ok no ball jokes please...
Happy with loads of attentions!
Playing with Princess Meredith & Aunt Hsing
Mmm...my special cup cake made by mama (without milk product)
Puzzled...

Hee hee...
Little professional
Cake cutting time!
Hey look what've I got...
Puppy eyes...
A little sad that the party had to end...

Battling eczema

One day, while surfing the net for more eczema related information, I came across this website and realized that I have not been using steroid correctly. Knowing all the side effects of steroids, I used it “over sparingly” on Ian. As a result, his eczema never completely clear up and I have to use steroid on a daily basis. So, I started using it correctly, as per the recommended amount and his eczema is better but still does not clear completely. Nonetheless, I have tried many types of steroids and Derma-Smooth eczema oil is the one that works best for Ian. http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/27000764/

As much as I would like avoid using steroid, I really can’t. It is a double-edged sword. If I use it, there may be side-effects but his skin condition is under control. If I don’t, his skin will deteriorate which will affect his mood, his feeding and sleeping routine. I have gone one day free of steroid and his eczema will flare-up the very next day. My heart aches when I see his flare ups. There is really no cure for eczema, one has to just outgrow it (some babies never outgrow eczema and has to live with it for the rest of their lives). I can only control it and pray very hard every night for God’s healing power.

I have been reading quite a lot about steroid free alternatives and here are some things that I am doing. Share with me if any of you know about other alternatives.

-I am bathing him in a bath oil called Robathol. The oil disperse in the water as an emulsion, I think it is pretty good but not very oily though. Sometimes, I would rub some organic olive oil and sea salt mixture on his body as soap. I never used soap at all.
-I am using Vanicream (http://www.psico.com/) and Aquaphor. So far, I find these two creams to be the best. I have tried also Aveeno, Eucerin, Vaseline and other store brands. Cetaphil is a really good cream but it is not oily enough for his body. I use that on his face because it is lighter and won’t clog his pores. Sometimes, his face would flare up and I would put a thick layer of Cetaphil on his face at night and it would clear up in the morning. Sometimes, the redness is too much for Cetaphil to clear up, then I have to use Desonide (steroid).
-I recently started giving him flaxseed oil. I read that it helps with eczema (maybe not a quick solution but hope it will help in the long run). Plus, I cannot give Ian fish yet because or his allergic nature. I will have to wait till he is older and get him tested before I let him try fish. -I recently discovered a cream called Tri-Ceram. It is a barrier repair cream and clinical studies have proven that it helps with eczema. It is expensive but worth a try. I have been using this on Ian for a couple weeks now and have seen some very slight improvement, perhaps from this cream.
-Probiotics is becoming more and more popular and I have asked my doctors and they all said it will do no harm but may or may not help with eczema. I have been giving this to Ian for a couple weeks.
-I have also tried all kinds of anti-histamines (Claritin, Benadryl, Singulair, Zrytec ) and now trying Allegra to make his itch less so that he can sleep better at night. I think they all help but he still itches a lot.
-I am feeding him organic foods as much as I can.

I can only try to prevent him from scratching but sometimes, he still manages to hurt himself from scratching.
All in all, I have to thank God because I have seen some slight improvement in his eczema over the last month.

Ian is turning one in 9 days. My baby is all grown up looks like a toddler now. Here are some pictures...

Curious look...

Found something in a paper bag
Getting the "something" from the bag

Got it...he continued to explore what's in the box
That's my baby

Struggle of A Working Mom

Before I leave for work every morning, I have to spend some time with Ian before he sends me off with a happy wave goodbye. That is his way of getting some assurance from me that I will be home for him on that evening. This morning, my alarm went off at 6 am. I shut if off and went right back to sleep. The next thing I heard was Ian's cry at 7 am and I had overslept for an hour. So I hurried up and held Ian while I brushed my teeth and changed for work. Instead of changing his diaper and applying his layers of lotion for him while having our morning "baby chat", I had to hand Ian to his nanny to do all that. He was upset and cried because I had to cut our cuddling time short this morning. When I was ready, I held him again for a last time before I leave. He complained to me and tried to tell me that I should not do that again next time by shaking his head, his eyes still teary. Before his tears dried, I had to hand him over to the nanny again because I had to leave. He burst out in tears and protested. I went off to work with a heavy heart and felt sad about leaving Ian this way.
As I was driving to work, the daily does of NPR morning news went right in and out my ear. All I heard was a bunch of people talking from the radio. My struggle between being a stay home mom and being a working mom grew ever more intense. Although I like my job very much, I cannot do my best because my heart is not entirely there. What if I have to travel? I try to keep the lowest possible profile these days to lower any chances of traveling. Why am I still working? Why am I defying what I can do really well in, which is to be a full-time caretaker for my baby?
Anyway, enough griping, picture time!

Ian likes to point to "buh!" a.k.a. "bird"

Excited to see his own picture...

Kissing the cute baby in the picture (himself actually)...

Happy to find "treasures"...Smile for mama's Canon 350D...Another Canon moment...